A Failure among The Success

Assalamualaikum,
The date is 13th November 2014, a day after I got my result for semester 1. Now I know, many would ask about my results considering how 'vavavoom' I aced during the SPM. Well, I will show you how much I got.

After I posted a picture of me! LOL.

THAT'S ME! 

Picture description

Place : Mom's school

Attire : Black and white plus jeans

Comments : Left my glasses at home and I'm half blind.

Okay, back to where I actually left you fuckers. Haha. So, results?

Been a while since I got C in anything. :(

So yeah, 3.39.

"Hey, that's not bad, amazing actually."

"You can always improve, keep trying!"

"Next sem, you'll sure get 3.5 and above, fella."

Shut the fuck up, will you cunts? I know, 3.39 is not a bad grade. In fact, there are many out there with lower grades than I am. I know all of that! But guess what? IT IS NOT ENOUGH!

Even before my asasi, my mom had already embedded in the shallow mind of mine, that I should and must get 3.5. My cousin, had been uttering the same thing.

"Yo cousin, Ikah, you'll get 4 flat you know. Your sisters and brother can do it and they succeed with that, so I know that you will get 4.0. Without a doubt"

"Oh look at the shooting stars, make a wish darling."

Wish not granted, sorry. The world isn't a fairy-tale, or a wish-granting factory. The world is a place where all the bad in humanity are shown, and everything nice or nasty.

I fall short from where I'm aiming. But that's okay. This is life. When it gives lemons, I should be able to turn it into lemon pie, or lemon meringue, or any shit made from lemons. I was upset, really upset that I thought my world had collapsed. Now that is the time, where I need a shoulder to cry on, and hand to hold and weep, someone to hear about things that have been consuming me from inside. Well, that's a bit exaggerated, aight?

I'm too lazy to censored my Facebook acc.

And that, my friend who I love the most and care all my hearts out, is how I felt when you said I can do better next time.

I do know, the fact of how harsh I am about my feelings. But that is the truth. I'm just too tired to listen to all this encouraging words. It had affected me the other way round. Sorry.

Given the time and the reality that hit me like a truck, I now know that I am not good enough. Hopefully, I can recover from this huge mistake, and be the best than who I am now. I will improve and change. That is for sure. 

I think that is all, in the near future, I hope that I could write more about how getting 3.39 had destroyed me and also help me build myself up.

I'll write more about the people in my life too. Haha.

Hasta la vista, I'm too lazy. Bye